


Bedtime Story

by GMTH



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Humor, Quidditch, Sexual Fantasy, Smutty Claus 2005
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-01
Updated: 2006-01-01
Packaged: 2018-10-27 22:02:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10817616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GMTH/pseuds/GMTH
Summary: Sirius has a vivid imagination.





	Bedtime Story

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2005 Smutty Claus fest. For Waxbean, who requested Sirius/Minerva with mutual masturbation. Hope this makes your holiday a little brighter! Hugs and kisses to Amanuensis for the wonderful beta. :-)

"Padfoot, you there?"

Sirius sat up in bed and snatched the mirror from under his pillow. "About time! I was wondering where you'd got to." 

"Sorry," James sighed, his face swimming into view in the dirty mirror. "Slughorn just left. Said he was going to dinner. Reckon I've got a few hours until he comes back."

"He's awfully trusting, leaving you there alone. What'd he give you to do, then?"

"Lines. 'Severus Snape's underpants are not a potions ingredient.'" 

Sirius snorted and leaned back against the headboard of his four-poster. "How many times?"

"Five hundred." 

"Oh, ouch. Sorry, Prongs."

"You should be. This whole thing is your fault."

"How d'you figure that?" Sirius said, lips curling into a grin. 

"It was your idea in the first place! I'd never have Summoned old Snivelly's pants if you hadn't dared me."

"I'm such a bad influence."

"You sound awfully pleased with yourself for someone who's supposedly sorry he got his best mate into trouble. Again."

"Heh. Pleased as punch, I am. It was worth it to see the expression on Snape's face when his pants went flying across the dungeon." Sirius's grin grew wider. "Great catch, by the way. I've been meaning to thank you for snatching them out of the air before they smacked me in the face."

"My hand still smells." James wrinkled his nose. 

"No worries," Sirius said, laughing. "I'll nick some more Mrs Skower's from Filch. That'll take care of it." 

"Stop smirking, you rat. Oh! That reminds me. Let me talk to Pete for a second."

"He's not here. He's out with that Ravenclaw prefect. Lorraine whatsits." 

"Ah, yeah. The slag. Guess Pete's going to get his first blowjob tonight, eh?"

"Looks like. Too bad, too. You'd think a girl with that much experience would be better at it."

"You said you came like a hosepipe."

"Did, but only because I was thinking about fucking Emily Bernard the whole time." Sirius yawned. "But otherwise it was just like dipping your prick in a cup of lukewarm tea. She didn't ever really suck, you know?"

"Ah well, Pete won't know the difference."

"And one of her molars has a really sharp edge on it."

"Heh, that won't matter to Pete, either. That tiny little prick of his'll barely make it past her front teeth." 

"Checking him out in the showers, were you?" 

James cleared his throat. "You know, it's awfully sporting of you to share your cast-offs with everyone the way you do. A lesser man might tell his friends to back off from his old girlfriends." 

"Excellent change of subject there, Prongs."

"I'm serious!"

"Yeah, well, if I didn't share the ones I'd had enough of, half the girls in our year would be off-limits, wouldn't they." 

"Very true. Look up the word 'generous' in the dictionary, and there's your picture. What's Remus up to?"

"He's in the library."

"Again?" 

"Yeah. The swot."

"It's just as well," James said. "You know how he hates it when we use these mirrors." 

"Too bad _he_ won't take one of my cast-offs. Bugger could use some loosening up." 

"So, you're there alone, eh?" James smirked. "What were you up to before I called?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "Just... waiting for you to call."

"Uh huh. No wanking or anything, then?"

"No!" 

"Padfoot..."

"Well. Shit. I'm a healthy 17-year-old boy, and I haven't got a leg over in more than a week. You do the math." 

"I figured as much."

"And you took forever to call, too." 

"Don't pout. It doesn't become you." 

"The girls love it, though." Sirius pushed his bottom lip out a bit further, admiring the effect in his mirror. 

James rolled his eyes. "God, I'm bored."

"How many you finished?"

"About fifty. This is going to take me all night."

"Well I'll let you get back to it, then."

"Oh, no. No, no, no. You're not going anywhere. I called you for a reason."

"Oh?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "I'm intrigued. Go on." 

"I want to hear one of your famous bedtime stories."

"Ah! All right, then. Let's see... who do you want tonight? You and Evans?"

"God, no! I'll never get this done if you do that."

"Heh, okay. Um..." 

"You." 

"Excellent choice. Who with?"

"Someone you haven't done it with yet." 

"Oh. Hmm. Damn, that leaves out a lot of good possibilities. So, erm..." Sirius gazed off into space for a moment, running through the list of candidates in his mind. "Valerie Hinton? Claudia Randall? No, wait. Maybe --"

"McGonagall." 

Sirius blinked. "Come again?"

"Professor McGonagall. You know. Dark hair, glasses, head of --" 

"James!"

"-- Gryffindor house. You must have seen her around." James's voice was colored with suppressed laughter.

"Awww, c'mon. How about... Annabelle Trumble?" Sirius said desperately. "She's a bit manky, but at least she's not old enough to be my mum!" 

"Minerva. McGonagall. This is your punishment for getting me stuck in detention tonight when I could've spent the evening with Lily's tongue in my mouth." 

"What if I refuse?"

"I'll let Moony eat you on the next full." 

"Damn. All right, then." 

"And make it good." James had the good grace not to let the triumph seep into his tone. Damn him. 

"Right. Um... where? In her classroom? A detention?"

"Nah, you've done that one to death. Someplace unusual." 

"Hmm. How about the Gryffindor common room?"

"You're not even trying, Padfoot."

"Okay, okay. How about... under the stands in the Quidditch stadium? During a match." 

Sirius could see James thinking. "Who's playing?"

"Gryffindor. And Slytherin. Slytherin's winning."

"Sirius!"

"Just kidding. Gryffindor's winning. Two hundred to nothing." 

"How many goals did I score?"

Sirius sighed. "All of them, Prongs."

"Cool. Go on." 

"Right. So. I'm hanging out under the stands, leaning against a post smoking a fag, and McGonagall wanders by." 

"Why isn't she watching me play?"

"She went to the loo. Anyway, she sees me standing there, and she stops short. 'Smoking is not allowed on the grounds, Black,' she says. 'That will be --'"

"Don't do the voice." 

"'-- ten points from Gryffindor," Sirius continued, still mimicking McGonagall's brogue as though James hadn't spoken. "I drop the fag to the ground and grind it out with my foot. 'Sorry, Professor,' I say, shoving my hands into my pockets, and she gives me a curt nod. 'Say, Professor,' I say as she turns to walk away, 'how come you're always taking points from me? What do I have to do to earn a few points around here?' 

"'You are a seventh-year student, Black,' she replies. 'If you don't know by now what it takes to earn points, I can't help you.'

"'Oh, I think I know,' I say, taking a step toward her, just as the crowd overhead gives a huge cheer. She freezes, but holds her ground, and I take another step. 'I think I know, and I bet I can get you to give me a hundred points for Gryffindor,' I say. Another step, and I'm practically nose to nose with her. She has to take a step backwards or risk having me tread on her toes, and I press the advantage by pushing her gently against the wall."

"Ahhh, stalking her like a cat, eh Padfoot?" 

"Like a wolf, Prongs. A _wolf_." 

James snorted, and waved at Sirius to continue.

"Anyway, I push her back against the wall, and lean in to nuzzle her ear. 'And,' I whisper, 'you'll thank me after you've done it.'

"'Don't be ridicul --' she sputters, but I cut her protest off with a kiss. She kind of squeaks in the back of her throat, and her body goes all over tense, but I can feel her heart pounding as I press up against her. I kiss her for a while, just kind of stroking the side of her neck with my fingertips, and when she starts to relax I know she's all mine."

"And then you go in for the kill."

"Don't be ridiculous, James. These things have to be handled delicately. A little nibble on her lips, a quick lick because they've gone dry, and her mouth opens. I slip my tongue through her teeth just as her hands come snaking up my back. The tension is draining out of her now, and I poke my leg between hers and lean in closer so she can feel my prick getting hard against her hip. Her cunt is warm on my thigh, and I know she's already wet." 

"That's handy. How'd that happen so fast?"

"Well, you know how excited she gets about Quidditch." 

"Right." 

"So. I drop my hands and kind of wedge them between our bodies. It's not easy, see, because we're practically glued to each other at this point, and her tongue is doing an absolutely wicked dance in my mouth. But somehow there's room for me to get my hands between us, and before either of us know what's happening I've got my hands full of McGonagall tit." 

"Oh, wow. What're they like?"

"Um, they're nice, I guess. Firm. You know. And she's not wearing a bra, so I can feel her nipples right in the center of my palms. Big. Like knuts. And real stiff. I give them a quick stroke with the sides of my thumbs, and she gasps into my mouth. Oh, she's putty now." Sirius closed his eyes to concentrate on the scene playing out in his head. "I press my thigh up hard between her legs, and she digs her nails into my back. My prick is so hard now it hurts, I'm just dying to grind it into her hip, but I'm afraid I'll come if I do. So instead I put my foot on the ground again and grab a fistful of her robes, right about crotch level, and whip 'em up high enough for me to get my hand underneath."

"And she's wearing a chastity belt, right?"

"Heh. No. Actually she's not wearing anything." 

"Nothing?"

"Nope. No knickers."

"Aw, c'mon Padfoot. You're just getting silly now. Old Mac? Not wearing any -- "

"Shut it for a minute will you? You're distracting me!" Sirius glared at his mirror until James gave him a sheepish grin. "Thank you," he said huffily, closing his eyes again. "So yeah, nothing underneath. Her thighs are bumpy with gooseflesh as I slide one hand between them, and I can feel the heat coming off her cunt in waves. She's tense again, and I'm afraid she's about to push me away, so I reach up with one finger, just to touch her slit, and she kind of jumps and then spreads her legs a little bit. I reach a bit higher, into her heat, just barely touching her, feather-light, you know? And she makes this kind of moan that I can't really hear because the crowd is cheering again, but I can feel the vibrations in her chest. I know what that moan means. I've heard it a hundred times before. They all make it when they're really into you."

"Lily doesn't. She -- " 

"I work my hand higher, and God, she's sopping wet. Yeah. I've got her open now, and her thighs are quivering, her whole body is quivering, and I'm rubbing my fingers back and forth between her legs, on that sensitive spot girls have. Her hips start to move, up and back and around in circles, and the friction on my prick is making me crazy. I push just the tip of my finger inside her. So hot. She grabs the back of my head to kiss me harder, and she's so slippery the next movement of her hips drives my finger slowly inside. 

"I can't stand it anymore. My prick feels like it's going to explode. I twist away and fumble with my buttons, and pretty soon I've got it in my hand. Somehow she knows I've got it out, maybe she feels my arm moving as I start to pull it, and next thing I know her fingers are laced between mine. I push another finger up inside her and start to fuck her with them, hitting that spot and making her shake, and she's guiding our hands on my prick and _God_ , Prongs, I've never had a hand-job like this. She just... knows what to do. She knows just how hard to squeeze, and how fast to move, and every stroke makes my stomach flip over. I can't breathe through the kiss anymore, and I wrench my head away and bury my head in the crook of her neck, and before I know it her neck is drenched in sweat because I'm panting like a dog, my mouth is open against her skin and she's jacking me faster and faster. Oh, it's incredible. It's building up so quickly and the crowd overhead is screaming 'Go! Go! Go!' and I want to fuck her but I know I'll never make it. Then suddenly her cunt is convulsing around my fingers and she's shrieking in my ear and the crowd is going wild and before I know it I'm blowing all over her hand and her robes and... and... and..."

"Padfoot?"

Sirius started, and slowly opened his eyes. "Yeah?"

"Is that it?"

"Yeah."

"Can't be. You didn't finish it. Did she give you the points? Who won the match?"

Sirius swiped at his clammy forehead. "Um. I've got to go. Something has come up and I need to deal with it." 

"Sirius!" James exclaimed with a sudden shout of laughter. "You perv! Wanking off to a fantasy about Professor McGon --"

"Goodnight, James," Sirius said with an irritable sigh. James was still laughing as Sirius shoved the mirror into place under his pillow and lay back on his bed, spreading his legs.


End file.
